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Conversation Starters

Conversations about future health care wishes can be difficult to start.  We've created questions to get the conversation going.  Once you start talking, you will be surprised at how easy the discussion flows.  Good luck and send us a message if you get stuck or had a great experience, either way, we like to hear how you are doing!


To describe your wishes to others:


  • My doctor and I talked today about my future health care needs and  I realized that I haven’t told you about my wishes – we should talk about that.


  • I have just completed a document outlining my future health care wishes and I want to share it with you.

  • That story about the woman fighting with the doctors to keep her husband alive on machines made me realize that we should talk about these things so we both understand what each other would want.

  • Remember our neighbor who died after being in the hospital for such a long time? I would never want that to happen to me.


  • Do you remember when auntie Kay was in a coma for a while? She didn't talk to her daughters about her wishes so I want to make sure I talk to you about what I would want?

  • I don't want to sugar coat this, we are all going to die.  It's best we share our thoughts around what we want so there are no surprises.


To ask others what their wishes are:


  • I am happy you asked me to be your Power of Attorney, I would really like to know your wishes and health preferences so that I make good decisions for you. 

  • You seem to really be struggling (tired, sad etc), and I am worried for you.  I am wondering if you would find it helpful to talk with me about your day to day challenges and what the future might look like for you.

  • I didn't realize there are so many choices a person could make about health care and housing as they age. I am interested in getting your thoughts about optional housing.

  • I know I might be in the position of having to make decisions for you.  We haven't really talked about what you would want for yourself.  I'd feel better and more prepared if we did. 

  • It seems many people are getting sick from COVID these days.  I think it would be helpful for us to talk about the "what ifs" in life, just in case one of us gets really sick,  quick.

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